Assertiveness is not something that comes particularly easily to some people and these people often convince themselves that it is not worth their time and energy to even try and be assertive. However whilst this is an easy excuse it is not correct. Learn the benefits of being assertive on our Assertiveness Training Course in Brighton, Sussex.
People who are more assertive than most are more likely to be fulfilled in their work and their lives as they are not afraid to ask for what they want or go after it. It is also the case that due to this attitude it is far more likely that they fulfill their potential, again both socially and at work. In turn this will lead to them being more satisfied with their lives and so more happy and at ease. They will not be as stressed as others since they have less to be stressed about and live healthier and happier lives.
The same cannot be said for those who are too passive or afraid to ever be assertive. Whilst those who are assertive are more likely to be successful and more fulfilled at work, for those who are too passive the opposite is all too often true. Due to not being able to be taken seriously or make themselves heard, they will not have achieved as much as they could have and are left less than their potential and ability dictated they could achieve. The same can be said outside of the workplace, i.e. their social lives.
On the other hand however those of us who are too aggressive will again only help to hinder their performance both in and out of work. They will often be too abrasive for many people to get along with, this means that people won’t want to work with them, and they certainly won’t want to strike up any relationship with them. Getting along with people is a big part of any working environment and is a necessity if you ever wish to progress through the ranks. Being too aggressive will also harm those around you as they are may be too afraid of you to offer any opinions or ideas and so your very presence is stifling to any creative thought, it is also true that because of this you alienate you from your team members and you will be left out.
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Posted by Heather Buckley in Assertiveness Training on April 17th, 2009 | No Comments »
We cover a range of techniques for improving your assertiveness on our 2-day Assertiveness Skills course in Brighton, Sussex. Here are our top tips for being more assertive.
Practice Speaking up when you have an idea or opinion
This is one of the most important assertiveness skills and gets easier the more you do it. Once you overcome any anxiety about speaking up you will feel better about yourself, your relationships should improve. If you are used to keeping your opinions to yourself even when it is important to you learning to speak up can be quite liberating.
Practice Standing up for your opinions and stick to them
When you know that asserting yourself may cause conflict it is more difficult to do, but it is important to remember that your opinions are as valid as anyone else’s, even if they tend to be louder then you. Don’t be afraid to say what you think, what is the worst that can happen? In the long term it can be more distressing to harbour resentment from not expressing yourself than facing the conflict involved with showing your true feelings. That does not mean that you have to be rigid, you can change your mind, but not out of fear of what others might think or say. You will gain respect from others standing firm when it matters.
Don’t be afraid to ask for what you want
People who are not assertive by nature find it hard to ask of others, however if you simply ask reasonable requests of others you may be surprised how willing others can be to help. Practice asking people for little things and don’t feel bad about asking.
Practice saying no
It’s OK to say no to things you don’t want to do. If something makes you uncomfortable or you haven’t got the time or if someone makes you feel overwhelmed it is reasonable to say “I’m sorry but I can’t”. You can still help others when you have the time or when you want to, but if you can’t you don’t have to feel guilty or obliged.
Learn to accept compliments
Say thank you when someone compliments you, don’t feel embarrassed. You don’t have to start blowing your own trumpet, just smile and accept.
Learn to accept constructive criticism
Nobody is perfect, don’t take it to heart when someone gives you feedback that is not positive. Learn from them, say “yes I see, thank you”. If on the other hand someone is really insulting you unecessarily you would need to stand up and say I don’t think that is appropriate/true, I don’t like being spoken to like that.Learn to tell the difference. It is OK to be wrong sometimes.
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Posted by Heather Buckley in Assertiveness Training on February 20th, 2007 | No Comments »
Your opinion matters - image by JD Hancock
People often complain that their opinion counts for very little in their respective work places. But no matter how victimised that person may feel they must come to the realisation that it is no ones fault but their own. If you allow yourself to become just another anonymous face in the background then it is obviously going to be difficult to get your voice heard and respected.
Techniques to get your opinion heard at work are covered on our Assertiveness Course in Brighton, Sussex. Some of the important factors are:
Self belief.
This is perhaps the most important aspect of being assertive and getting people to respect your opinion. It’s an old cliche’ that if “you don’t believe in yourself no one else will” but its there for a reason. Being brave enough to hold firm to your opinions and ideas is a quality that people will admire in you not hold against you. However there is a difference in self belief and being too stubborn to admit you are wrong.
Being Pro active.
“Nothing comes to those who wait”, yet another cliche’ that is none the less still valid. What you must realise is that you have gotten into this situation because you allowed yourself to be pushed around and easily led. Don’t wait for chances; seek them out, and when you do find them make sure you make the best of them.
Know what you are talking about.
Never bluff. You may be able to fool people in the short term but in the long term you will only damage both your reputation and the project. Instead make sure that you know what is going on, that you understand what is needed and how to do it. Knowledge is the ultimate dividing factor and can make you indispensable; the “go to” guy. A person can be as loud as they like but if they are wrong it counts for nothing.
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Posted by Heather Buckley in Assertiveness Training on April 22nd, 2009 | No Comments »
In life there are three response styles a person can take when they are confronted with a problem or issue, these are; passive, aggressive and assertive. In children it is important to teach them early on how to cope with these situations in a healthy manner. What you obviously don’t want is the child becoming too aggressive, this will lead to confrontations and set at trend for the rest of that child’s life.
If on the other hand the child is too passive then this will lead to it becoming socially vulnerable and feeling unfulfilled and maladapted. It is therefore fundamental that a child is taught the correct balance between being too passive and too aggressive, otherwise known as assertiveness, if they are to achieve their potential and live a happy social life.
Being assertive will teach the child to respect others and to respect themselves, giving them the ability to say no, the confidence to believe in themselves and the self esteem to go after what they want. Teaching your child to be assertive is giving them the foundations of success early on, not necessarily just in a working environment but socially too.
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Posted by Heather Buckley in Assertiveness Training on May 6th, 2009 | No Comments »
From every manager giving good clear feedback is vital. Although it can sometimes be seen as criticism when handled carefully it can improve results and strengthen working relationships. Many employees may not even be aware that they are not performing as expected or required. Constuctive feedback can help people see their blind spots and understand the impact of their behaviour, feedback can enhance their career.
Unfortunately many managers put off giving feedback because it makes them uncomfortable, or they want to avoid confrontation. Feedback should be clear and precise and avoid hints, blame or humiliation. Managers need to know how to be assertive and ask for what they want from employees.
Once an employee knows or understands what their manager would like they may go away and think about it, change their behaviour and enhance their own career as a result. Everybody wins.
Assertiveness and confidence building training - A good one day course for managers on assertiveness.
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Posted by Heather Buckley in Management Skills Training on September 24th, 2009 | No Comments »
