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Once you have been practising your assertiveness skills, you should have built up your self confidence, but how do you instill confidence in others at work?
- Make sure that employees have the skills to do their job well (this may involve training or getting colleagues to mentor each other and share skills
- Making sure your objectives are clear and that the workforce knows exactly what is expected of them
- Give others authority and accountability in decision making
- Make sure that people get recognition for their achievements
- Give workers opportunities to meet new challenges
Confidence in the workforce comes from knowing what to do and how to do it.
Learn how to instill confidence in others at work on our Assertiveness Course in Brighton, Sussex.
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Posted by Heather Buckley in Assertiveness Training on September 11th, 2007 | No Comments »
confronting your boss - image by JD Hancock
Dealing with issues at work is covered on our Assertiveness Training Course in Brighton, Sussex, a summary is provided below:
Understand the situation.
Realise what it is exactly what you want and the reasons behind this before you talk to your boss, if you fail to collect and talk about your thoughts and feelings in a coherent manner then it is unlikely you will be listened to. It is also necessary to appreciate your boss’s position, don’t be unreasonable in what you ask, this will only put your boss in a position where they have to say no. Most boss’s you will encounter will not like saying no as it makes them out to be the bad guy however you have to give them something to work with first.
Take a look at the big picture.
Make sure that it is a worthwhile issue to confront your boss over. Confronting a superior is never an easy thing to do and getting worked up about something which doesn’t matter will only serve to set you back in the long term.
Accept the consequences.
If, after taking these previous factors into account, you still decide that you want to confront your boss then you must come to terms with the consequences of your actions. Depending upon what issues you bring up and the manner in which you do so these consequences will differ, and maybe for the better in some cases. However by bringing the issue up in the first place you should fully understand the repercussions of your actions.
Be respectful
Don’t go in all guns blazing, it can be easier than you would think to overcompensate and go from being assertive to being rude. Remember who it is that you are talking to, whoever it is and whatever they have done they are still your boss and insulting them or getting too worked will only spell bad things in your future. Try and be calm and direct, maintaining the employee-boss relationship but whilst making your opinions heard. Don’t raise your voice or be too aggressive no matter what the situation this will only make matters worse.
… But avoid becoming too passive.
The trick is to find the balance between being aggressive and being too passive. If you feel you are being manipulated or unfairly treated then politely and calmly reassert yourself and redirect the conversation back to your side of the issue. It can be easy to be intimidated by a boss and you can often find yourself, just through sheer force of habit, agreeing whilst in actual fact you are being wronged. The thing to remember is that you are entitled to an opinion; you won’t get in trouble for bringing up an issue. The area which you might encounter problems however is in the way in which you bring this issue up, be assertive but not rude and at the same time not being too passive.
What it boils down to in the end is making sure that you pick the correct fight and finding a balance between being too aggressive and too passive. It is not easy, but with a valid issue and the right approach you should be o.k.
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Posted by Heather Buckley in Assertiveness Training on April 3rd, 2009 | No Comments »
Your opinion matters - image by JD Hancock
People often complain that their opinion counts for very little in their respective work places. But no matter how victimised that person may feel they must come to the realisation that it is no ones fault but their own. If you allow yourself to become just another anonymous face in the background then it is obviously going to be difficult to get your voice heard and respected.
Techniques to get your opinion heard at work are covered on our Assertiveness Course in Brighton, Sussex. Some of the important factors are:
Self belief.
This is perhaps the most important aspect of being assertive and getting people to respect your opinion. It’s an old cliche’ that if “you don’t believe in yourself no one else will” but its there for a reason. Being brave enough to hold firm to your opinions and ideas is a quality that people will admire in you not hold against you. However there is a difference in self belief and being too stubborn to admit you are wrong.
Being Pro active.
“Nothing comes to those who wait”, yet another cliche’ that is none the less still valid. What you must realise is that you have gotten into this situation because you allowed yourself to be pushed around and easily led. Don’t wait for chances; seek them out, and when you do find them make sure you make the best of them.
Know what you are talking about.
Never bluff. You may be able to fool people in the short term but in the long term you will only damage both your reputation and the project. Instead make sure that you know what is going on, that you understand what is needed and how to do it. Knowledge is the ultimate dividing factor and can make you indispensable; the “go to” guy. A person can be as loud as they like but if they are wrong it counts for nothing.
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Posted by Heather Buckley in Assertiveness Training on April 22nd, 2009 | No Comments »
In life there are three response styles a person can take when they are confronted with a problem or issue, these are; passive, aggressive and assertive. In children it is important to teach them early on how to cope with these situations in a healthy manner. What you obviously don’t want is the child becoming too aggressive, this will lead to confrontations and set at trend for the rest of that child’s life.
If on the other hand the child is too passive then this will lead to it becoming socially vulnerable and feeling unfulfilled and maladapted. It is therefore fundamental that a child is taught the correct balance between being too passive and too aggressive, otherwise known as assertiveness, if they are to achieve their potential and live a happy social life.
Being assertive will teach the child to respect others and to respect themselves, giving them the ability to say no, the confidence to believe in themselves and the self esteem to go after what they want. Teaching your child to be assertive is giving them the foundations of success early on, not necessarily just in a working environment but socially too.
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Posted by Heather Buckley in Assertiveness Training on May 6th, 2009 | No Comments »
Jim Rohn
“The only healthy communication style is assertive communication”
Sharon Anthony Bower
“The basic difference between being assertive and being aggressive is how our words and behavior affect the rights and well being of others.”
Le Mon
“Assertiveness is not what you do, it’s who you are!”
Brian Tracy
“Happiness and self confidence come naturally when you feel moving and progressing toward becoming the very best person you can possibly be.”
Gandhi
“The history of the world is full of men who rose to leadership, by sheer force fo self confidence, bravery and tenacity.”
Learn skills to make you more confident and assertive on our Assertiveness Training Course in Brighton, Sussex.
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Posted by Heather Buckley in Assertiveness Training on May 11th, 2009 | No Comments »
Wanting to be approved of and a fear of disapproval can turn many people into ‘yes people’. How many times have you agreed to do something without really wanting to? In the short term you may think this makes you more popular, but are you really getting the respect you crave? Does it make you feel good about yourself or do you end up feeling unappreciated, used, angry, taken advantage of?
If you are a person who finds it hard to say ‘no’ try the following exercise. You will need to ask a trusted friend to help you. With regular practise you can learn to change your habits.
- Remember when you last said yes when you meant no.
- Explain to a friend what the situation was.
- Ask your friend to ask the same question you were asked in one sentence, don’t draw it out, and keep it simple.
- When your friend starts to ask the question say a firm ‘NO’!
- Get them to step back when you say no, then take a step forward and repeat a firm ‘no’ with a little more determination.
- Repeat the exercise at least ten times.
- Write down how you felt, focusing on the positive, and keep the piece of paper.
The next time you want to say ‘no’ remember the positive feeling and just say it. If you feel the need to explain keep it very short. If they come back with another appeal simply say no again.
You need to convince yourself that you are in control of your life before others will treat you the same way. Remember, nobody can make you do something you don’t want to do, if you let them control you they will, but it is YOU who is handing over control. If you begin to take control of yourself then others will learn to treat you differently.
It may be hard at first as some will still see you as easily swayed, but if you stick to your guns and be consistent, they will have to learn to change their behaviour too.
Learning to say No assertively is covered on our assertiveness and confidence building course in Brighton, Sussex.
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Posted by Heather Buckley in Assertiveness Training on October 2nd, 2007 | No Comments »
When learning to manage your time, make sure that you allow yourself time to do things that make you happy. What do you enjoy doing? Don’t fall into the trap to ignoring your need to take time out occasionally. It may mean having a little less time to accomplish tasks that need to be done, however it can give you the energy and put you in a state of mind that can actually help to accomplish tasks more quickly in the long run.
Writing a list of goals will give you the idea that you are in control that in turn can help your confidence to accomplish these goals as you are already anticipating success when you start your plan of action. This will boost your self confidence
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Posted by Faye Binfield in Time Management Training on October 26th, 2007 | No Comments »
Some Leadership Training & Management Training by Silicon Beach Training that you could find useful are the Decision Making Course and Leadership Course
What is influence?
Influence is the ability of one person to get others to behave in a particular way or to carry out certain actions.
Many people are unaware of the influence they exert on others and many are unaware how necessary and constructive mutual influence is in building effective teams and effective working relationships.
Where is your sphere of influence?
Managers automatically think of having influence over their staff but not over anyone or anything else. In fact an astute manager can develop many levels of influence which can be much more far-reaching than that of their staff group.
LEVELS OF INFLUENCE
Level 1 – the level where you have complete influence and control eg with your team
Level 2 – the level where you have influence without complete control eg with your boss, in your department
Level 3 – the level where problems or forces that affect you are completely outside your influence
- Make a list of problems currently causing you concern at work
- Review each problem to decide which level of influence it falls into
- Try to find ways of extending the boundaries of levels 1 and 2 in order to increase your influences over the forces that are affecting the problem
Influencing strategies
“You make more friends by becoming interested in other people that by trying to interest other people in yourself” Dale Carnegie
Each one of us is dependent on other people in the organisation. We need these combined efforts to make our whole business successful. Once we recognise the importance of other people in our companies, we can really begin to use key influencing strategies to get things done.
1. COLLABORATION – successful people are skilful collaborators. They achieve the outcome they want by influencing others to support them, not by exercising power
2. WORKING TOWARDS WIN-WIN – in any negotiation situation seek to find resolution where no-one loses
3. LISTENING – effective listening is one of the most powerful forms of communication. Give the other person your complete attention and they, in turn, will be more inclined to listen to you and give credit to your ideas when you need their support
4. RESPECT – respect is a basic element in influencing. Develop and show genuine respect for those around you by showing consideration, honouring confidences and expecting others to act ethically and responsibly
5. INVOLVE OTHERS – people respond positively when you ask for their opinions and suggestions. Gain a position of influence by acknowledging that someone else has something of value to contribute and by acting on their input.
6. TREAT PEOPLE AS EQUALS – don’t abuse any power you may have from being in a higher position in the organisation; you will not gain their support his way!
7. GIVE CREDIT AND ACCEPT RESPONSIBILITY – influential people give others credit for successes and take the responsibility when things go wrong
8. SEE OTHERS AS UNIQUE – get to know what motivates those people around you and treat everyone as special
9. BE CONFIDENT AND DECISIVE – people follow those who seem confident and who make sound, timely decisions
10. CULTIVATE EXPERTISE – when you have expertise, you gain credibility that allows you to influence others
Influencing senior management
You may have the best idea in the world but if you can’t sell it, it is worthless.
There will come a time when you will need the backing of those above you in the organisation so you need to carefully develop your strategy for success.
- Prepare thoroughly before you meet with senior management- collect facts and figures to add weight to your arguments
- Anticipate senior management’s reaction to your idea and prepare effective responses
- Use appropriate language use buzz words and phrases so you appeal to THEIR areas of concern
- Present a positive personality, committed and enthusiastic to the project
- Any presentation you make should be short; about 5-7 minutes is enough to get them interested in a good idea
- Don’t promise what you can’t deliver
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Posted by Heather Buckley in Management Skills Training on April 15th, 2007 | No Comments »
