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The balance between passivity and aggressiveness can sometimes be a difficult thing to find. Many find themselves being too passive in a situation which demands a more direct and confident approach, whilst others, in an effort to correct this, are too aggressive and domineering. Assertiveness is neither being passive or aggressive but rather making your opinions be heard, recognised and respected. It is the ability to withstand outside pressure and bias and stay true to what you know is right. Understand the advantages of being assertive on our comprehensive Assertiveness Course.

Assertiveness and leadership often go hand in hand and whilst it is true that leaders often are assertive, it does not mean that they are the only ones that should be. For instance if we take a look at the dynamic of a team, it doesn’t take much to see that if some members of that team are holding back their ideas because they are too scared or feel that their opinions won’t matter then the team will struggle to achieve the best result. On a more individual note assertiveness can benefit your career, you social status and even  help you define a better sense of who you are, enhancing not only your ability to reach your goals but the self belief to dream of such goals in the first place.

One of the fundamental elements to being more assertive is to believe what you say matters whilst, and perhaps this is often overlooked, respecting other people’s opinions. Being assertive means not only making yourself heard but also taking into account what other people are saying to achieve the best results. Assertiveness is not bloody mindedness; it is being clear and direct without being so overly dominant it sets people against you.

When talking to someone turn to face them, look them in the eye and speak clearly and confidently. Be willing to give an honest opinion and don’t be afraid to say no, saying yes does not always equal respect, it is the confidence and determination to stick to your guns that people will admire. Be pro active, start conversations, this way it’ll be you who’s immediately setting the tone for the relationship, don’t dawdle or beat around the bush, if you want something ask for it, there is no point in stumbling out a mumbled question which will only result in you having to repeat it, which will undermine and embarrass you.

It is also worth noting that people will respond better to any aggravation you have if you do not blatantly direct it at them, for instance instead of saying “you make me so angry”, say “ I am so angry”, there is nothing wrong with expressing your feelings but make sure you don’t make the situation worse by hurting anyone else’s.

It is not just what you say, but how you say it. Your facial expressions and tone of voice are an important factor in determining the dynamic of a relationship and can often mean more than what you are actually saying. Don’t be too cautious about letting your sense of humor show, it is not a weakness, in actual fact it is a strength, if you find something funny don’t be afraid to laugh, you will often find other people will join in after they see it is O.K to do so. In fact if this situation does arise and other people do join in it is a good sign, it means that you have become the person that the group looks to for guidance, your opinions and even your approval.

Assertiveness is a balance between self belief and respect and can be a somewhat difficult one to get right. Being assertive has many benefits and it is certainly the case that whilst you may feel you are doing just fine as you are, if you don’t back yourself and your own opinions then neither will anyone else.

Similar resources you may like

1. About Assertiveness
2. The Benefits of Being Assertive
3. When to be Assertive?
4. Assertiveness V Aggression and dealing with aggressive people
5. The Benefits of Assertiveness In Children

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Assertiveness, Assertiveness and leadership, Assertiveness Training, confidence, passive, self belief, Understanding Assertiveness

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This entry was posted by Heather Buckley on Monday, March 16th, 2009 at 3:29 pm and is filed under Assertiveness. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.