Dealing with issues at work is covered on our Assertiveness Training Course, a summary is provided below:
Understand the situation.
Realise what it is exactly what you want and the reasons behind this before you talk to your boss, if you fail to collect and talk about your thoughts and feelings in a coherent manner then it is unlikely you will be listened to. It is also necessary to appreciate your boss’s position, don’t be unreasonable in what you ask, this will only but your boss in a position where they have to say no. Most boss’s you will encounter will not like saying no as it makes them out to be the bad guy however you have to give them something to work with first.
Take a look at the big picture.
Make sure that it is a worthwhile issue to confront your boss over. Confronting a superior is never an easy thing to do and getting worked up about something which doesn’t matter will only serve to set you back in the long term.
Accept the consequences.
If, after taking these previous factors into account, you still decide that you want to confront your boss then you must come to terms with the consequences of your actions. Depending upon what issues you bring up and the manner in which you do so these consequences will differ, and maybe for the better in some cases. However by bringing the issue up in the first place you should fully understand the repercussions of your actions.
Be respectful
Don’t go in all guns blazing, it can be easier than you would think to overcompensate and go from being assertive to being rude. Remember who it is that you are talking to, whoever it is and whatever they have done they are still your boss and insulting them or getting too worked will only spell bad things in your future. Try and be calm and direct, maintaining the employee-boss relationship but whilst making your opinions heard. Don’t raise your voice or be too aggressive no matter what the situation this will only make matters worse.
… But avoid becoming too passive.
The trick is to find the balance between being aggressive and being too passive. If you feel you are being manipulated or unfairly treated then politely and calmly reassert yourself and redirect the conversation back to your side of the issue. It can be easy to be intimidated by a boss and you can often find yourself, just through sheer force of habit, agreeing whilst in actual fact you are being wronged. The thing to remember is that you are entitled to an opinion; you won’t get in trouble for bringing up an issue. The area which you might encounter problems however is in the way in which you bring this issue up, be assertive but not rude and at the same time not being too passive.
What it boils down to in the end is making sure that you pick the correct fight and finding a balance between being too aggressive and too passive. It is not easy, but with a valid issue and the right approach you should be o.k.
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Posted by Heather Buckley in Assertiveness on April 3rd, 2009 | No Comments »
Conflicts are an inescapable fact of life. They occur when the needs of one person differ from the needs of another, and the parties disagree on how to meet their needs. Conflict can be unpleasant and uncomfortable and it can hurt relationships. However, if handled effectively, it also provides the opportunity to enrich and deepen relationships and help us learn more about ourselves. Accept that conflict will arise in your working life whether it is with your manager, your staff, peers, your customers or other professionals and learn ways to manage it.
Conflict in management can be defined simply as:
two or more people who want a different outcome
Causes of conflict in the workplace
Almost all conflicts involve communication problems, as both a cause and an effect. Misunderstandings, resulting from poor communication, can easily cause a conflict or make it worse. Further, once a conflict has started, communication problems often develop because people in conflict do not communicate with each other as frequently, as openly, and as accurately as they do when relationships are not strained. Thus communication is central to most conflict situations.
Recognising sources of conflict in the workplace is the first step toward being able to do something about them. Apart from communication, there are other causes of conflict in business:
- Assumptions
- Competing for resources
- Putting personal agenda ahead of team agenda
- Individual differences
- Competing priorities
Think about the conflict situations in your working life. Who are they with? What is the real issue? How can you improve your handling of these situations? Find out from colleagues what their strategies are for handling conflict.
How to resolve conflict
Resolving conflict requires effective communication skills, tolerance, and the desire to find creative solutions. Here is a five-step process that you can follow to resolve conflict and improve your work relationships.
1. ACTIVE LISTENING for facts and feelings. Make sure you understand what the other person really wants and needs. Listen for more than facts. Set aside your assumptions of what you think is going on. Pay attention to non-verbal messages. Check that you have understood and repeat back to the person what you think he/she said. This will prevent misunderstandings and will ensure that you are both clear about the issues.
2. USE ASSERTIVE COMMUNICATION. State your wants and needs in a respectful and clear manner, while recognising that the other person also has legitimate wants and needs. Discuss the specific behaviour that is creating problems and do not focus on personal characteristics.
3. BE EMPATHETIC. Try to get into the other person’s shoes. Consider their viewpoint. Ask yourself: “What does she want?” “What might he be afraid of?” Adopt the position that people aren’t purposefully trying to be difficult, manipulative etc. They may not know how to communicate effectively to resolve conflict.
4. BE FOCUSED on the issue. Use effective listening skills. Stick to facts and don’t allow irrelevancies and emotions into the discussion which could escalate the conflict. If you find the conflict is getting worse, take a break and agree to come back and discuss the problem at a later time – when you both have had a chance to calm down.
5. KEEP POSITIVE. Approaching a conflict situation with a negative attitude will result in a self-fulfilling prophecy. You will put out non-verbal messages that you know the person won’t respond to reason and they will pick this up and respond to accordingly. Instead, tell yourself “there is a solution to this situation and we can work together to find it.”
Learn effective ways to manage workplace conflicts with our Conflict Management training course
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Posted by Heather Buckley in Management Skills on April 15th, 2007 | No Comments »
