In life there are three response styles a person can take when they are confronted with a problem or issue, these are; passive, aggressive and assertive. In children it is important to teach them early on how to cope with these situations in a healthy manner. What you obviously don’t want is the child becoming too aggressive, this will lead to confrontations and set at trend for the rest of that child’s life.
If on the other hand the child is too passive then this will lead to it becoming socially vulnerable and feeling unfulfilled and maladapted. It is therefore fundamental that a child is taught the correct balance between being too passive and too aggressive, otherwise known as assertiveness, if they are to achieve their potential and live a happy social life.
Being assertive will teach the child to respect others and to respect themselves, giving them the ability to say no, the confidence to believe in themselves and the self esteem to go after what they want. Teaching your child to be assertive is giving them the foundations of success early on, not necessarily just in a working environment but socially too.
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Posted by Heather Buckley in Assertiveness Training on May 6th, 2009 | No Comments »
Its never too early to learn good assertiveness skills
Kids have a tough time at school. You can’t always be there to help them cope with playground politics or bullying, assertiveness skills can help them especially if they are shy or sensitive children.
Some ways you can help your children to learn healthy assertiveness:
Be a role model for your children
Even when your views are unpopular teach them by example that is OK to show your opinion, even if it is uncomfortable it is OK, and that it is OK to stand up for the rights of others too.
Be democratic at home.
Debate, and listen to your children’s opinions even if they do not match your own. Let them know it is ok not to agree with someone but it is always important to listen and accept others opinions.
They should know that you value others that speak their mind respectfully. Praise them when you notice them doing this. Let them know that you respect their opinions.
Provide opportunities for them to join group activities, or lead.
Kids gain that confidence is by entering into activities, clubs, team building, etc. and the earlier the better. Let them take control of a project.
Teach your children C.A.L.M. assertion
C – Stay Cool If you get upset, ticked off, cry, pout you don’t appear as confident.
A – Assert yourself. Teach your child a few comeback lines to say in different situations.
L – Look the person in the eye. The best way to appear more confident is by using eye contact.
M – Mean it. Teach your child the difference between how a wimpy and a strong voice sound. Then encourage your child to assert himself using a strong and firm tone–but not yelling tone–to get his point across.
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Posted by Heather Buckley in Assertiveness Training on February 3rd, 2009 | No Comments »
