dealing with aggression - image by JD Hancock
Aggression is not positive assertiveness. Aggressive people disregard the needs, feelings and opinions of others. Aggressive people often act as if they are superior to others, they may bully, try and humiliate and belittle others. they may even be physically aggressive.
Learn how to deal with aggressive individuals on our Assertiveness Training Course in Brighton, Sussex.
Aggression doesn’t foster mutual respect, it indicates a desire for power and domination always at the expense on another. Someone who’s aggressive may tell you that your opinion doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter, because you know that your opinion does matter.
No matter how hard you find it you must practice assertiveness techniques rather than letting the bullies walk all over you. The more you allow them, the less they will respect you. The more they will take advantage of you, and the worse you will feel about yourself.
When faced with an aggressive person try and keep clam, breath deeply and try to see the other person as if looking on rather than reacting emotionally. That is what they want; they want to emotionally unbalance you so that they can railroad you quickly. To see then as an emotionally immature person, using techniques to control your own emotions can give you the strength to say things that will improve your position.
If you simply cannot get a word in edge ways, or you are physically threatened you may need to leave the situation, don’t stay if you don’t want to. Other wise you could try some of the following techniques.
Do not try and defend yourself against constant criticism, they will want you to engage so that they can continue. Call them on what they are saying, they will be using words like you always… Ask them to give you a particular example.
If they insult you, say “You are entitled to your opinion however I disagree.” Or ask them to repeat it, while looking them in the eye, it will make them think about the words they are using.
You may feel angry – who wouldn’t faced with a bully, learning how to deal more effectively with your anger will help you stay in control of the situation. Keep breathing and stay as calm as you can. Afterward instead of thinking about how angry they make you feel and waste even more of your time on them, think about how much more in control of your emotions you are and how lucky you are to have learned to stand up for yourself. Feel proud instead and let them stew in their own juices!
