Comments on: Reader comment on assertiveness v aggression

By: chiz

chiz — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 13:52:05 +0000

Good post. You make some great points that most people do not fully understand.

“Because of aggresivness, a relationship has been broken down because of my problem. Ive been reading alots of it and it seems a good things to tell clearly what i fell and what right i have in a calm and clearly way.”

I like how you explained that. Very helpful. Thanks.

By: admin

admin — Fri, 22 Feb 2008 12:04:09 +0000

There will always be people who will take any response rather than total agreement as a personl critisism. They will find it difficult to deal deal with assetive others. There is little you can do to change their beliefs and values. However you could try agreeing with them before adding your suggestion. For example, yes I think that is a great idea, we could even do it this way …It is important to stay calm – calm assertive is the most effective way – repeating your idea for example, yes I understand your point however I believe that ….Make them feel important, say that is a good way of doing things, have you considered …You can invite others into the conversation by asking what others think rather than throwing control back.

Good luck

By: buddy

buddy — Tue, 19 Feb 2008 16:07:55 +0000

The article was very informative. Thank you.
I have a question.Assertiveness also relates to your existence as well. I have met a few people in my career who dont welcome assertivess of the team. They need people nodding heads at them, be the point valid or not. How do we deal such people, because if we try to say ‘NO’ or if we try to propose a new and much more effective solution, they take it as a word against them and dont think about solving the problem. Please advise me on how to deal with people like that.

By: Learning Assertive And Communication Skills

Learning Assertive And Communication Skills — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 08:19:38 +0000

I’m toying between a Tony Robbins course or a Tony Buzan course in the UK. I’m enjoying your site and will start writing more comments from now on.

By: Deka.D

Deka.D — Mon, 21 Jan 2008 15:49:30 +0000

Ahh great admin it seems that my point of dealing this was kind right that is an “responsible” to take the action to also listen to ppl than just speak out feeling and idea and then dont care what other thinks. Well then my basic knowlegde about it wasnt wrong ;)

Thx

By: admin

admin — Mon, 21 Jan 2008 15:38:02 +0000

Being assertive is not about ‘not caring’ or ‘not taking rsponsibiliy’ for ones actions. It is true that everyone has a right to say what they are feeling and to say if they are unhappy about something, but it is still important to listen to and consider anothers point of view. It is not about winning. It is about being feeling able to express yourself, and accepting that everyone has thier own point of view that may not be the same as yours. If someone thinks they have a ‘right not to care’ or does not listen to another they are being agressive not asseritve.