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Reader comment on assertiveness v aggression
Hi!
I’m new into this area and I have some problem with aggression and found this is the way i should use instead of aggressiveness!
Because of aggressiveness, a relationship has been broken down because of my problem. Ive been reading lots of it and it seems a good things to tell clearly what i fell and what right i have in a calm and clearly way.
I thinks this problem with my aggressiveness (passive sometimes) primarily came from my disabilities as hearing impaired.
The problem I’ve been came into is that almost impossible conversation with assertiveness vs. assertiveness people. Because of that problem it seems hard to get some agreement with each other when they speak freely about they feeling and the other one want to express about that feeling and so on. It seems getting into a loop where no one will “win” this situation. Ive been always saying to assertiveness people like this “Yes i know you feeling and problem but you need to know also the consequences about begin assertive that you actually have to hold you statement and listen what i or other have to say than just say what you want and then dont bother about it, isnt fair to anyone of us when you speak freely and don’t care about to hear others opinion.” So far ive done this statement (correct if it wrong or right statement) al people that claim they are assertiveness say kind of “i have right to say what i want” “i have right not to care” “i have right to change my mind”. Anyone know how to deal this kind of problem would be great to solve almost al kind communication failure with assertiveness vs. assertiveness…
Well my english isnt great. I can explain better if there are statement that confused and i do my best to try again!
Similar resources you may like
- About Assertiveness
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- Assertiveness in Brief
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aggression, Assertiveness, Assertiveness V Aggression, course, how to deal with agression, how to deal with agressive people, training
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6 Responses to “Reader comment on assertiveness v aggression”
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admin says:
Being assertive is not about ‘not caring’ or ‘not taking rsponsibiliy’ for ones actions. It is true that everyone has a right to say what they are feeling and to say if they are unhappy about something, but it is still important to listen to and consider anothers point of view. It is not about winning. It is about being feeling able to express yourself, and accepting that everyone has thier own point of view that may not be the same as yours. If someone thinks they have a ‘right not to care’ or does not listen to another they are being agressive not asseritve.
21. 1. 2008 at 3:38 pm
Deka.D says:
Ahh great admin it seems that my point of dealing this was kind right that is an “responsible” to take the action to also listen to ppl than just speak out feeling and idea and then dont care what other thinks. Well then my basic knowlegde about it wasnt wrong ;)
Thx
21. 1. 2008 at 3:49 pm
Learning Assertive And Communication Skills says:
I’m toying between a Tony Robbins course or a Tony Buzan course in the UK. I’m enjoying your site and will start writing more comments from now on.
6. 2. 2008 at 8:19 am
buddy says:
The article was very informative. Thank you.
I have a question.Assertiveness also relates to your existence as well. I have met a few people in my career who dont welcome assertivess of the team. They need people nodding heads at them, be the point valid or not. How do we deal such people, because if we try to say ‘NO’ or if we try to propose a new and much more effective solution, they take it as a word against them and dont think about solving the problem. Please advise me on how to deal with people like that.
19. 2. 2008 at 4:07 pm
admin says:
There will always be people who will take any response rather than total agreement as a personl critisism. They will find it difficult to deal deal with assetive others. There is little you can do to change their beliefs and values. However you could try agreeing with them before adding your suggestion. For example, yes I think that is a great idea, we could even do it this way …It is important to stay calm – calm assertive is the most effective way – repeating your idea for example, yes I understand your point however I believe that ….Make them feel important, say that is a good way of doing things, have you considered …You can invite others into the conversation by asking what others think rather than throwing control back.
Good luck
22. 2. 2008 at 1:04 pm
chiz says:
Good post. You make some great points that most people do not fully understand.
“Because of aggresivness, a relationship has been broken down because of my problem. Ive been reading alots of it and it seems a good things to tell clearly what i fell and what right i have in a calm and clearly way.”
I like how you explained that. Very helpful. Thanks.
28. 3. 2008 at 1:52 pm