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Brief introduction to assertiveness skills

Written by Heather Buckley – 21.09.09

May be confused with aggressive behavior, however, assertion does not involve hurting the other person physically or emotionally.
Aims at equalizing the balance of power, not “winning the battle” by putting down the other person or rendering her/him helpless.
Allows you to express your legitimate wants, needs, feelings, and ideas and creates honest relationships with others.
Gives other individuals a right to respond to your assertiveness with their own wants, needs, feelings, and ideas.
May involve negotiating a new solution with another individual. Assertiveness does not imply I win/you lose.
Concerns not only what you say but also how you say it.
Includes asking directly for something you want.

Non-assertive – failing to stand up for oneself or others, being ineffective in standing up for oneself that one’s rights are easily violated.
Assertive – standing up for oneself in such a way that does not violate the basic rights of other people. Being direct, honest, and using an appropriate expression of one ’s feelings and opinions.
Aggressive – standing up for oneself in such a way that violates the rights of the others, using humiliation.

Basic –a sample expression of standing up for one’s beliefs, feelings or opinions.
Empathic –expressing feelings or beliefs, while relating sensitively to another person.
Escalating –beginning with a basic assertion and progressing your feelings and ideas if the individual is unresponsive to your expressions
Confrontive –the other person ’s words conflict with you ideas and beliefs

This entry was posted by Heather Buckley on Monday, September 21st, 2009 at 3:45 pm and is filed under New Free Resources, Personal Development. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.